So what do you do when you have some unruly people at a board meeting or at a community block party?
1. Kill them with kindness
2. Make the person feel seen and heard. Listen intently to what the other person is saying rather that thinking of what your response will be. You don’t have to necessarily agree with what the person is saying but just the fact that you are giving the unruly person some undivided attention does often make a difference.
3. Don’t take the word choices of the unruly person as a personal attack. This will almost certainly lead to defensiveness that will probably escalate the situation. If the person is angry and speaking with a high intensity, try to focus on the message rather than getting distracted by the energy level of the message.
4. Consider seeing the matter from the other person’s perspective. You might find that there actually is some truth to what the person is saying rather than simply dismissing the other person.
5. In summary, practice the 3 C’s: Keep calm, cool, and collected.
You are just as much a member of the community as anyone else living there. Your say matters as much as anyone else’s.